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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?